So often we feel the need for approval and yet we do not like to be judged.
This makes absolutely no sense to me. Yet despite the senselessness of it all, I constantly find myself in the midst of this struggle, in one way or another. What is it all about? Living up to what I think is expected of me, feeling like it is never enough, I continue to do, do, do. But why am I doing this? I’ve found that it is interesting sometimes to stop and ask myself these questions, “Why am I doing this? What is my intention behind this? What am I hoping to gain by all of this? Where is my heart and head in this? What is really going on here?” Usually my answer at this time is DUTY! RESPONSIBILITY! And my personal least favorite, WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?!
I have learned that when I start feeling overly tired, depleted and ill, that there is something seriously wrong in my world. I do not mean in the world around me but IN my own world – the way that I am seeing and experiencing things, and the INTENTION behind what I am doing. Usually it takes me a while to click into this though. I suffer until I can’t take anymore. I guess that I need to get myself completely stuck in the muck of the duty rut before I can get the ball rolling and ask myself the question “Why am I doing this?” Then typically what I hear myself saying serves to be the electric shock therapy that I need, at that particular moment to positively alter this negative thought pattern. Without manipulating it, this practice has helped me, time and time again, in many different situations to catch myself deeply imbedded in this muddy mess that I have let myself sink into. It provides me with the blazing jolt of pure energy that enables me to fly out of this rut and resume my course on the path of pure inspiration.
I do not want to live a life filled with duty. I want to be FREE! I do not want to do things because I have no choice. I want the freedom to CHOOSE! To sum it up, I want to create my life and my experiences with the freedom of choice. I want to use my creativity instead of being dragged along. I want to give because it fills my heart with love, not because I expect approval in the fact that I’ve done my duty. I want to create what comes from within, not what I feel others want to see from me or expect to see from me. I want to be perfectly true to who I am, not truly perfect in someone else’s eyes. The latter is impossible. I cannot alter another’s thoughts, likes, dislikes or expectations. In fact, I cannot even truly make someone else happy. That is a choice that they must make for themselves. If it makes me happy to help someone else (which it does) then I’m going to do it. No expectations of reward or judgment allowed.
I hope that this has not come across as a selfish way to live. I can assure you that it is not. Allowing yourself permission to be happy and live an authentic life, in my opinion is the complete opposite to a selfish life. I believe that it is living a life of example, which grants other people the courage to do the same. I also believe that you may just find that you are still doing all of the same things you did before, with maybe a minor alteration here and there. Something small, like a quiet walk, by yourself to clear your mind. Big changes may be necessary at times, but usually not. The main difference for me, I have found, is in the way that I look at things. Attitude and intention. This makes all the difference in the world. If my actions are a result of, or stream from, anything but love, then I know that I am accomplishing nothing. No happiness can be found there from anyone.
In my opinion, if we could all live this way all of the time, I believe that we would find ourselves in a much more peaceful, bountiful world. We would be far more willing to give to others because we would feel no lack within ourselves. In fact, I think that we would feel the need to share our abundance with everyone at all times. I also feel that we would be more apt to let others be, just as they are, again no judgment and no expectation, because we would not feel the need to struggle for power, knowing full well that we already have access to all of the power that we could ever desire, within ourselves.
Don’t you find that it is easier to be happy around happy people and inspired in the midst of inspiring people, than it is when we are surrounded by those who are stuck in the muck. Doesn’t it seem that life flows much more smoothly when we are happy than when we are struggling with despair and duty?
THIS MAKES SENSE TO ME. Inspiration and happiness are contagious. The question is….Who will get this ball rolling? Who will pass it around?
“ Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.”
--- Satchel Paige
